Friday, July 4, 2008

First Time for Everything

Some "firsts" are exciting and you can't wait for the "seconds." Other "firsts" are far from exciting and you hope the "seconds" don't even exist.

The latter applies to my feelings regarding stress tests. I had my first last week. I survived, was told I did really well, but I hope to never experience the second--more for what it would mean was going on with me rather then the difficulty of the test itself.

I did learn that I do not like huffing and puffing and sweating in front of a room full of people. In addition to the doctor administering the test, there was the med student shadowing him, the nurse running the computer, the radiology nurse who pumped me full of radioactive material (lovely), and another nurse or two--all standing there watching me do this stress test thing. Someone suggested if I love it so much to join a gym, but at least there everyone else is huffing and puffing and sweating, too.

My test results came back great--thankfully. Now I await the cardiologist appointment on Tuesday, where he will look over all the various results from the tests I've participated in these past few weeks, including the echocardiogram, stress test, and holter monitor events. I'm ready to get that appointment over and done with and move on to the next chapter of life. Not to mention getting to stop wearing this holter monitor.

With all that has been happening with my heart and all these tests lately, it has forced me to take a look at how I live life. I've asked myself (and God) lately if there are things I can do better. Things I can do differently. Things I can not do at all. It's made me think about the time I spend with God and realize that it's not enough. It's also made me think about my level of trust in God with the daily activities of this life I'm living--and again realizing it's not enough.

So I'm working on this--how do I do a better job of living this life God has giving me, but living it in the way that HE wants me to--not the way I want me to. I've bought a few new books. I've started setting my alarm (most mornings) for 6 am so I have at least one hour before anyone else is awake in my house. And I'm asking God to make my desire for him greater than any other desire in my life.

I'm also working on scripture memory, and this is the one I'm starting with:

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.
Psalm 143.8, 10

When I start each day, I want my to-do list to reflect God's priorities for my life, not my earthly, human priorities. Isn't this a fantastic verse to help me focus in that area? I've said it over and over and over the past week. I've closed my eyes to put a visual picture to the words contained in these two verses. I've meditated on each sentence to think about what God is speaking to my heart through it. It has brought me so much joy to impress this passage on my mind, but especially in my heart, to look to God to help me align each of my days with His desires for me.

Maybe it can do the same for you.

I'll be back to share more with you about what God is teaching me. Until then, bless you!